Iliza Shlesinger

July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 10:35am

teflon from pansthat gets into food has been linked to autism.chances r if ur old enough to use a pan, ur probably safe from being born w it


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:53am

My mom wants to do minor construction to my place today. It's a day of rest not a day of buying fucking 100grit sandpaper


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:48am

Blanche in HomeDepot jail on a sunday morning. Mom is the warden. http://twitpic.com/24f9ge


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:43am

Mom-u say buy blinds- I say stuff a pillow in the window. This is a generational difference. That, and I have no taste


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:41am

Mom. I don't want a plant!


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:38am

Mom I tried to get rid of the "schmutz"- unfortunately, it pays me rent


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:33am

Mom-at first I thought the clanging I heard at 6am was a robber-then I realized it was you alphabetizing my fork drawer. Thank god


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:30am

Mom- thanks also for redoing my sock drawer- it was just chaos


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:30am

Mom-thanks for rearranging my living room while I was out last night- really fun walking into the couch at 1am last night


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 9:28am

So glad mom is visiting-otherwise I never would have gotten to go to BedBathAndBeyond at 9am on a sunday


July 11, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 11, 2010 at 12:05am

To the dj @voyeur you suck- u and ur kind fucking suck- if I wanted techno, I'd get an israeli cab driver


July 10, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 10, 2010 at 10:06pm

There's no such thing as "full" when you're eating bacon or lobster.and if they're together?well, just get ready to cry while vomiting.


July 9, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 9, 2010 at 5:52pm

Despicable Me- best film of the last 10 years


July 8, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 8, 2010 at 7:18pm

I have to endure this face errtime I leave Blanche in the car http://twitpic.com/23mdub


July 8, 2010

posted by iliza from Twitter Jul 8, 2010 at 6:26pm

LSFL: life sentence for Lohan- can we get shirts made, your honor?


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